(This was shared in my agency today. Change is incremental. We have to start somewhere and keep pushing... Picture of me and one of my leaders on accidental Wear a Lavender Shirt Day.)
Recently at the employee Diversity and Inclusion Group (DIG) at my agency, we had a discussion about discrimination. We talked about how each of us at one time or another had been discriminated against by someone, somewhere, sometime. We included anytime one of us had been judged for what we appeared to be and not who we were. It was voluntary. We took turns. We agreed it was confidential.
Most of our experiences were around race, sex, national origin, or sexual orientation. Although, this is by no means the only reasons people are singled out. It was clear each of us of differing backgrounds or appearances are subjected to this kind of treatment. Primarily, it is because the nature of humans is to make immediate decisions about other people due to part of our brains assessing risk. This is a basic instinct to determine if the approaching party is friend or foe, dolphin or saber-tooth tiger. In addition to this instinct, our brains carry around cultural assumptions that we have been taught directly or indirectly which create instant unchecked reactions including treating someone differently based on a perception of people we fail to challenge.
As part of the DIG exercise, we talked about how to listen to our coworkers, friends, and family members when they tell us their stories of discrimination. The first part of the process is to ask a question. When we see something asking, “How did it feel to you when that happened?” Or, “What was it like when you lived in Detroit...or Mississippi...or India...? How did you deal with the racism, sexism, or other?”
The other important piece is: How Do I Listen Well? Here are some tips:
- When we listen to other people’s stories, we need to just listen without judging, defending, or explaining.
- Ask clarifying questions. “What was that like for you?” Or “What did you do when that happened?” Respectfully, explore your curiosity. “I noticed you looked upset when that happened. What was going on for you?”
- It is our job to take the time to contemplate what we are hearing. Is this new information? Is this a perspective we never thought about?
- It is not the time to try to one up the person’s story. “Well, you should hear what happened to me.” It is the time to listen.
- If we need to make comments, we need to use “I” statements. “I never thought of that.” “I’m sorry that happened to you,” or even, “I hate that.”
This is how we can become aware of how our actions affect others. This is how we can use this new found knowledge of differences to make the changes we want to see in our workplaces, agency, and the world around us. Now is the time for attending to the issues of today by simply listening.
If you have questions or comments to share on this, please write to DIG or let us know if you would like to attend a meeting to learn what we are up to.
Bonus Diversity and Inclusion Tip: The agency recruitment team has started using the following language as an interview question when screening potential new employees. You are encouraged to use this when you are hiring new staff. This sends the message that diversity and inclusion is exceedingly important to our organization, and discrimination will not be tolerated.
“We have a very diverse workforce that serves our diverse customers including racial and ethnic minorities, people of various socio-economic status, women, veterans, people with disabilities, people of any age, and LGBTQ individuals. We have zero tolerance for discrimination or disparate treatment of any kind. You will be part of a respectful and inclusive workplace for all employees. Do you have any concerns complying with this?”
Thanks to Joceile Moore and the Diversity and Inclusion Group for this week’s tip.
[Picture of two people in ties, African American man and caucasian woman wearing lavender shirts.]
12/2018
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