Vampires!

I’m battling vampires.  Not only are they persistent, they are also monstrously pervasive. I need help!  Not necessarily specialists.  More like an anti-vampire army of determined soldiers. 

You see, they are all over my house. They show up in every room. No place is free of their little sucking presence day or night. Visible at night, their eyes are red, green, blue, or yellow. 

They are so pernicious that I can’t eradicate them even when I know all their locations and their dirty little missions.  I took to the internet to get help.  The only solution for many of these vampires is an on/off switch inserted between their sucking lips and the energy they feed on.

I’ve discover to my chagrin they are a part of a massive conspiracy and infiltration into the homes, businesses, and any non-bunker locations in the U.S.  There has been an underground movement to deploy these vampires everywhere.  It is a corporate takeover with unintended consequences.  It leads to greater costs, waste of resources, and perhaps the destruction of the environment, or maybe even earth itself.

My only hope is to tell everyone to stop this subversive system.  Buy an ENERGY STAR  appliance without an eternal little energy sucking light.  Beware of power chargers that use power even when nothing is attached to them.  Plug them into a surge protecter and turn it off when you are not using them.

We are at the pinnacle of this battle.  Light pollution has taken its toll.  Few Americans can even see the Milky Way on a starry night.  There is no darkness in our neighborhoods at night.  We are in a constant full moon state.

And now, they have come for our homes.  Night lights are no longer needed.  There are little lights glowing at us all over our homes day and night.  They are Vampire Lights and they mean to do us harm by pretending to provide comfort and safety.  

First, it was just the GFCI plugs in bathrooms and now kitchens with little green lights in the name of safety.  Now, there are Vampire Lights on most electronic devices.  They are killing our darkness, wasting our electricity, and fooling us into believing that something is working when it’s really stealing.  This is the vampire world that takes your electric energy and gives nothing in return.

I go to sleep each night and see them.  Even if I don’t look at their beady little eyes, I still see them in my peripheral vision. Each appliance, television, stereo, DVD player, and microwave oven harbors them.  I’ve heard that refrigerators want in on the act.  I put on my dark mask at night so I don’t see them. But, I can still feel them sucking, staring unblinking with their evil little eyes. 

Unplugging unused electronics can save you as much as 10 percent on your electricity bill.

We must stop them.  You must help turn them off and shut them down.  I implore you.  It’s our only hope!

L’Chaim.

Joceile

8.25.19

¹ https://www.energystar.gov/productfinder/

^{2 Ground-Fault Circuit Interrupters}

³ https://www.energy.gov/articles/4-ways-slay-energy-vampires-halloween [

[Post script:  I have been practicing with these switches.  I really have to remember it's switched off when I plug in my phone to charge.  Otherwise, I come back to a dead phone!]

[Picture of plugged cord with red light and vampire face above it.]