85+ degrees: “Don’t talk to me! I’m never coming out from under this bed again.”
80-85: “Fine, I can sleep next to the bed or in the corner.”
75-80: “Your lap rates a nightly inspection but that’s it.”
70-75: “You know, the bed is not half bad to sleep on all day. “
65-70: “Your lap is cozy. Has it always been here?”
60-65: “Laying on you warm people at night just works.”
55-60: “Where the hell have you been? I’m freezing my ass off here.”
50-55: “I love you, Joceile. I could sleep on you all day. Ahhhh.”
50 and below: “Your lap is only thing between us and oblivion. No, you don’t have to pee. Hold it!”
*Based on Global Warming Trends and available Scarlett data for the period 2008-2023
[Picture of light colored long haired cat laying on intricate multicolored quilt.]
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