Steve Macuk: Powerful with Love

February 18, 2013

A man I love is struggling with cancer.  I'm fortunate in that I am able to do the long good-bye. 

Steve is my former therapist who taught me about the power of love. 

"I want you to sit powerful with love."

"What is that?  Is that some religious thing?"  I asked. 

"No, it's just a state of mind."

"Is it some corporate wording?  Where did you get it?  Powerful with love."  I am not one to accept things easily. 

"No, I made it up."

"You made it up?  In your own mind?"  I persist. 

"Yes."

"You're sure, because I've heard wording like that before?"

"Yes, Joceile.  I'm sure."

"All right. What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to sit powerful with love..."

"I'm not using that phrase."

"You don't need to.  Sit powerful with love and visit a former self of you.  Can you do that?"

"Yes, who should I visit?"

"Visit you when you were upset a month ago.  Can you picture that?"

"Yes."

"Okay."  Steve said, "You visit yourself when you were upset sitting powerful with love."

That phrase again. "How long do you want me to visit?"

"I'm gonna leave the room for a few minutes. How long would you like?"

I pondered this for a few seconds. "Four minutes exactly."  I didn't want it to be too long or too short. 

"Four minutes," he said. "You understand what to do?  Remember to start by sitting powerful with love."

"I've got it."

"Okay, I'll be back in four minutes.  No more. No less."  Steve left. 

I was alone in his office.  I looked around at his pictures and bookshelf.  I took a breath and filled myself with love.  I grasped that part of me that loves my partner and loves my daughter.  I remembered being loved by my grandmother.  I imagined that I was loved and felt it.  Then, I took myself back a month before.  My former self was crying and hurting.  I wrapped my imaginary love arms around myself and held tight.  I sprinkled golden fairy dust over my former self.  I thought, "Why not?"

My former self and I basked in the glow waiting quietly for the minutes to pass.  Shortly, Steve opened the door and walked back in.  I stretched my arms and yawned.  

"How'd it go," he asked. 

I waited, gathering my thoughts.  "I met with her. She was crying. I spread love on her...and golden fairy dust."

"Golden fairy dust?"  Steve commented. "I've never heard of that before.  Is that some religious thing or corporate slogan?"  

No, he really didn't say that last part.  But, thus began an ongoing process with Steve and I.  He never failed to remind me of the power of golden fairy dust...and, of course, sitting powerful with love.

Postscript 

On March 24, 2014, the world lost Steve. I can tell you, though, that Powerful with Love lives on in my heart, thoughts, and deeds along with many, many others he touched. 

Sitting Powerful with Love with Steve taught me to see love everywhere around me but especially in my heart.  I am able to feel the love in my heart when conversing with almost anyone.  I worked with him for a little more than two years.  His outsized influence on me has changed my life forever.  There's so much love on this planet, I feel his spirit is strong.  I don't stop loving him because he's not with us anymore.  I just miss his easy presence.

I love you, Steve.  I miss you.

Video of Steve Macuk

https://www.youtube.com/embed/D9rNe3FLdZE